Holly & Mia: North Korean mother and daughter
"When I was young, my mom took me to go see a fortune teller. The fortune teller stared quite forcefully into my eyes, then said that she couldn't see me—that my future was a mystery because she couldn't see me in this world. My mother started crying, asking if I was going to die. The fortune teller told her not to worry, that although I would leave this world, I was going to find success in a world away. That was the moment I understood. I knew I had to leave."
To not know a day’s rest, to never feel a moment's peace — these were common themes in Holly’s life. Since graduating high school, she worked tooth and nail just to stay afloat. Growing into adulthood in the midst of a changing North Korea, she knew that money would be the only thing that could keep her and her family safe. Her family was able to find security by doing business in the Jangmadang (North Korean Market), but it was not enough. Holly left her home to travel to the southern part of North Korea to try to run her own business. Instead of steady business, she found love. Holly’s newfound romantic bliss did not last long. Due to a series of unfortunate business transactions, her husband lost everything. Feeling helpless, she decided to give up everything she had and make for the border. After two attempts and two jail sentences for attempted escape, she finally made it out. But even in China, she could feel a target on her back. Shortly after crossing the border, with no options, Holly was sold into a marriage.
Holly had a daughter with this man, and stayed in a loveless “marriage” because she did not want to deprive her daughter a father. She wanted to be able to give the new light in her life everything — every chance and opportunity any other child is offered by birth in the free world. Seeing that her husband could not care or provide for her, let alone her child, she knew she was not yet free. With the dream of an opportunity-rich future for her baby, Holly was able to make the arduous journey to freedom through our rescue networks. Traveling thousands of miles with her baby, not yet two years old, she could feel her dream come true the further she got from her old life.Now, Holly and her daughter Mia are safely resettled in the United States. Holly is excited to be able to learn anything and everything. "I want to learn a skill, any skill, that allows me to gain a good career and provide for my baby."
On a recent visit with Holly and Mia, we learned something new about her. Mia had beautiful hats, scarves, mittens and sweaters that were all knit by her mother. Holly learned to knit from her own mother and was using her skills to dress her daughter. With limited resources, she was even knitting with two chopsticks! Holly is working diligently to learn English and is excited and motivated by all of the new information she has access to. When she is not studying English or playing with Mia, she is knitting. To support Holly and Mia in their resettlement, we worked together to provide a place for Holly to sell her beautiful, handmade hats. 100% of the proceeds will go directly to Holly and Mia. Thank you for your support!
Joy's Story: Part 1 - Growing Up in North Korea
I didn’t have a dream for my future when I was a child because my family was just trying to survive. My dad ran a farm, but one day the regime took all of his property. We had to start illegally selling wood to make money. We were always worried that we would get caught. We lived in constant fear and anxiety.
I remember not being able to eat for two days. My parents went into the mountains to find grass to boil and eat. Once we couldn't find grass, so my dad and I went to someone's cornfield. He carried me on his back and, when we got there, we pretended that I had to pee so I could go into the field and eat the unripe corn.
Eventually things got too hard for my mom, so she divorced my dad and left us. Life was so hard back then.
Because we never had enough money, there were a lot of arguments between my dad and my stepmom. There were other issues too—my sister’s husband tried to rape me. My father and stepmother also tried to marry me off when I was a teenager. I understood that they couldn’t keep taking care of me because of the economic situation, but I didn’t want to get married. When they set up a meeting with a prospective partner, I didn’t go but lied to my parents that I had and didn’t like him at all, mentioning a lot of bad things about the guy although I had never met him. I felt bad for him, but I had to do that because I didn’t want to get married.
Eventually, I decided to leave for China, hoping that I would have a better life there. I didn’t want to go to South Korea at the time because I heard a lot of rumors about how difficult living there was for North Korean people. Instead, I wanted to find an old Chinese couple, like my grandma and grandpa, who would let me live with them in exchange for taking care of them. I was naive.
I cried a lot at the idea of leaving my family and friends. I couldn’t tell my family that I was going to China, but I did tell some of my close friends. I asked them to give my goodbye letters to my family. I felt so apologetic to my father that I didn’t do much for him as his daughter. Before then I didn’t like my father because, after the regime took away his farm, he started drinking a lot and not taking care of our family, yet I just couldn’t help feeling heartbroken leaving him. I also got to spend 3 days with my mom who lived far away from my family before I went to China. At the time I got to have a lot of conversations that brought us a lot of healing and reconciliation.
I wasn’t sure if I would see my family again because of the possibility of getting caught while escaping to China. Before I left, I got some opium and carried it underneath the collar of my shirt so I could take it to kill myself in case I got caught.
I found a broker who gave money to the border guards so they didn’t patrol when I was supposed to cross the Tumen river. When I got to the middle of the river I felt that the ice was quite thin so I had to crawl to cross the rest of the river that was covered by snow. I didn’t realize that moment but later after I arrived I realized that my feet got so swollen because they got frozen from crawling the river in the snow. I couldn’t feel my feet for a while.
Continue reading Part 2 of Joy's story, focused on her time spent hiding in China.
You can support North Koreans like Joy by donating to our work. To date, we have helped over 1200 North Korean refugees reach freedom and safety through rescues. Learn how you can help.
