A North Korean’s Promise to his Father | Joseph’s Story: Part 1
Most of you may know me as Joseph, but my Korean name is Kim Kwang Jin. It means, “walking forward with brightness.” My father gave me this name, full of the hopes and expectations many fathers have for their sons.
But hope is a hard thing to have, especially in a country like North Korea, and as a child, I certainly didn’t make it any easier for my father to believe in my brightness. Even in elementary school, I was a poor student.
The first time I remember making my father proud was through my cooking, not from studying. That day, he and my older sister had gone to the mountains to collect firewood. It was getting close to midnight, but they still hadn’t come home, so I decided to make dinner for them—rice and kimchi soup. At the end of dinner, my father said, Son, this is the best rice I’ve ever had. I had never made rice before, and I knew it was undercooked. That night I realized how much my father loves me. I promised myself that next time I would make him better rice.
But next time never came. When I was 12, my father died of starvation.
To save us from the same fate, my mother and sister left for China in search of work and food. My mom ended up in a North Korean prison. But my sister never returned. Within one year, I had lost my entire family. I was alone—helpless, homeless, and orphaned on the streets.
After three years of barely surviving, I decided to escape. The journey would be risky, but staying in North Korea would be a risk too. I knew I could die of starvation. So I took a chance. Unlike most people, I decided to escape during the daytime, thinking that the border guards would become complacent because why would anyone be crazy enough to cross the border in the middle of the day with nowhere to hide?
Fortunately, I made it to China without being caught.
In China, I slept in the mountains and went to towns begging for food to survive. One day, while crossing a bridge in Yanji, I remember it started to snow. Everyone around me started walking fast.
I remember being so envious because walking fast must have meant they had a home they were rushing toward. I, too, wanted to walk fast, but I had no home and no one waiting for me.
Later on, I was lucky enough to be taken in by a halmoni, an older grandmother. She fed me and let me live with her for six months but I still lived in hiding, fearful that at any moment I could be arrested and sent back to North Korea. The halmoni eventually connected me with Liberty in North Korea and I had an opportunity to escape China and be the first North Korean refugee minor to come to the United States.
I was placed with a foster family and began attending an American high school, which felt a bit ridiculous at first. Even in North Korea, I was an F student. I barely finished elementary school so jumping straight into high school in a foreign country felt overwhelming.
One evening, my foster mom made chicken wings. They were so good that I wanted more, but I realized there wasn’t enough for everyone to have seconds. So I held back, thinking no one would notice. As I stared at my plate, my foster dad placed his last wing in front of me. I looked up, and he smiled, urging me to eat without saying a word. In that silence, I felt the depth of his love and care.
At that moment, I thought of my biological father. Even during our hardest times, he used to share what little food he had with me. I wished more than anything that I could cook for him one last time and share one more meal together.
That night, I promised myself that I would study hard and go to college. I believed that was the best way to honor my father’s sacrifice and make him proud.
Continue reading part 2 of Joseph’s story
Years before Joseph would reach freedom, talk on the TED stage, write a memoir, and pursue his master’s at Harvard Kennedy School, Joseph’s father saw the brightness in his son. While he may not have been able to witness Joseph reach these milestones, none of it would have been possible without the depth of his love that became the foundation for Joseph’s life.
His family’s support, both in North Korea and in the US, has given Joseph the confidence to believe in and fulfill his brightness.
When recalling his past, warm childhood memories and gripping hardship are shared in the same breath. Joseph often says that North Korea is not a land of darkness, merely a land with darkness. Both can exist. But what matters is what we choose to focus on—the shadow cast by the regime or the brightness of the North Korean people.
Help more North Korean refugees reach freedom and share their brightness with the world.
4 Myths about North Korea
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Let’s be honest. We’ve heard them before, but some of these are just bad. Here are 4 myths about North Korea and why they're completely wrong!
Myth 1: North Korea is just Kim Jong Un and nukes.
News flash: North Korea is more than Kim Jong-un and nuclear weapons. It’s home to 25 million people who face one of the world’s most brutal regimes. The media headlines obsess over Kim Jong Un and nuclear warfare. But the North Korean people and their stories remind us that it is a country of people with potential and hope. Read stories of the North Korean people here.
Myth 2: The North Korean people are all brainwashed.
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Goosestepping soldiers and images of hysterical crowds cheering for the Kim family are what the regime wants the world to see. But it’s definitely not the whole picture Even the regime’s tight control does not stop the North Korean people from becoming more aware of the outside world.
New technology and smuggled foreign goods in the Jangmadang (markets) give North Koreans new outlets to the outside. And this access to illegal foreign media is eroding loyalty to the regime. Just like any other person, North Koreans binge-watch South Korean dramas and Hollywood films—even without WiFi! Where there’s a will, there’s a way!
Myth 3: North Korea is hopeless and unchanging.
Yes, the North Korean people face the world’s most authoritarian regime. But they are shaking up the status quo and challenging the regime’s control at the grassroots level. They’re starting businesses and those who are able to escape are sending money and information back into the country. The changes they’re driving are irreversible and are small steps towards change and opening inside North Korea. Time and time again, North Koreans prove their resourcefulness and resilience in a system that has failed them.
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Myth 4: There’s nothing I can do for the North Korean people.
Wrong! Though it may seem like North Korea is an issue too big for any one person to solve, you can still make a direct impact on North Korean refugees today by following any of these steps:
