Joy's Story: Part 1 - Growing Up in North Korea
I didn’t have a dream for my future when I was a child because my family was just trying to survive. My dad ran a farm, but one day the regime took all of his property. We had to start illegally selling wood to make money. We were always worried that we would get caught. We lived in constant fear and anxiety.
I remember not being able to eat for two days. My parents went into the mountains to find grass to boil and eat. Once we couldn't find grass, so my dad and I went to someone's cornfield. He carried me on his back and, when we got there, we pretended that I had to pee so I could go into the field and eat the unripe corn.
Eventually things got too hard for my mom, so she divorced my dad and left us. Life was so hard back then.
Because we never had enough money, there were a lot of arguments between my dad and my stepmom. There were other issues too—my sister’s husband tried to rape me. My father and stepmother also tried to marry me off when I was a teenager. I understood that they couldn’t keep taking care of me because of the economic situation, but I didn’t want to get married. When they set up a meeting with a prospective partner, I didn’t go but lied to my parents that I had and didn’t like him at all, mentioning a lot of bad things about the guy although I had never met him. I felt bad for him, but I had to do that because I didn’t want to get married.
Eventually, I decided to leave for China, hoping that I would have a better life there. I didn’t want to go to South Korea at the time because I heard a lot of rumors about how difficult living there was for North Korean people. Instead, I wanted to find an old Chinese couple, like my grandma and grandpa, who would let me live with them in exchange for taking care of them. I was naive.
I cried a lot at the idea of leaving my family and friends. I couldn’t tell my family that I was going to China, but I did tell some of my close friends. I asked them to give my goodbye letters to my family. I felt so apologetic to my father that I didn’t do much for him as his daughter. Before then I didn’t like my father because, after the regime took away his farm, he started drinking a lot and not taking care of our family, yet I just couldn’t help feeling heartbroken leaving him. I also got to spend 3 days with my mom who lived far away from my family before I went to China. At the time I got to have a lot of conversations that brought us a lot of healing and reconciliation.
I wasn’t sure if I would see my family again because of the possibility of getting caught while escaping to China. Before I left, I got some opium and carried it underneath the collar of my shirt so I could take it to kill myself in case I got caught.
I found a broker who gave money to the border guards so they didn’t patrol when I was supposed to cross the Tumen river. When I got to the middle of the river I felt that the ice was quite thin so I had to crawl to cross the rest of the river that was covered by snow. I didn’t realize that moment but later after I arrived I realized that my feet got so swollen because they got frozen from crawling the river in the snow. I couldn’t feel my feet for a while.
Continue reading Part 2 of Joy's story, focused on her time spent hiding in China.
You can support North Koreans like Joy by donating to our work. To date, we have helped over 1200 North Korean refugees reach freedom and safety through rescues. Learn how you can help.
LiNK Statement on the Executive Order on Immigration and Refugees
Dear Friends,
We write today to provide an update on how the recent Executive Order (EO) on immigration and refugees will affect North Korean refugees and our work.
The EO suspends the U.S. Refugee Admissions Program globally for 120 days, for a review process to “determine what additional procedures should be taken to ensure that those approved for refugee admission do not pose a threat to the security and welfare of the United States” (Sec. 5.a).
North Koreans who have escaped the most repressive country in the world are not exempt from this suspension, meaning North Koreans seeking refuge in the United States will not be able to gain admission during at least the next four months. We know from experience that it is already not easy for North Koreans to gain refugee status to resettle in the United States as there is a strong vetting process currently in place. It can take many months, even over a year, and involves repeated in-depth interviews and screenings by various U.S. government agencies. We therefore believe it to be unnecessary and unfortunate to suspend the entire U.S. Refugee Admissions Program and further delay the start of these refugees’ lives in freedom.
We are proud of our work helping North Korean refugees in their escape and assisting them in reaching countries like the United States and South Korea where they can begin new lives in safety and freedom. We are thankful to all our supporters who have made this work possible and have welcomed these individuals into their communities. It has been incredible to see our North Korean friends here in America learn English, enroll in universities, get married and begin families, find gainful employment, and even start their own businesses.
A while ago we asked Anna--a North Korean refugee who we helped resettle in the US--her thoughts as she celebrated Independence Day. She said, "This country accepted me, embraced me, and gave me an opportunity to spread my wings."
Today, we renew our commitment to protecting North Korean refugees and to helping them resettle in societies where they can live in safety, freedom, and dignity and live fulfilling lives as valuable members of their new societies. Thank you, as ever, for your support.
