Joy's Story: Part 1 - Growing Up in North Korea
I didn’t have a dream for my future when I was a child because my family was just trying to survive. My dad ran a farm, but one day the regime took all of his property. We had to start illegally selling wood to make money. We were always worried that we would get caught. We lived in constant fear and anxiety.
I remember not being able to eat for two days. My parents went into the mountains to find grass to boil and eat. Once we couldn't find grass, so my dad and I went to someone's cornfield. He carried me on his back and, when we got there, we pretended that I had to pee so I could go into the field and eat the unripe corn.
Eventually things got too hard for my mom, so she divorced my dad and left us. Life was so hard back then.
Because we never had enough money, there were a lot of arguments between my dad and my stepmom. There were other issues too—my sister’s husband tried to rape me. My father and stepmother also tried to marry me off when I was a teenager. I understood that they couldn’t keep taking care of me because of the economic situation, but I didn’t want to get married. When they set up a meeting with a prospective partner, I didn’t go but lied to my parents that I had and didn’t like him at all, mentioning a lot of bad things about the guy although I had never met him. I felt bad for him, but I had to do that because I didn’t want to get married.
Eventually, I decided to leave for China, hoping that I would have a better life there. I didn’t want to go to South Korea at the time because I heard a lot of rumors about how difficult living there was for North Korean people. Instead, I wanted to find an old Chinese couple, like my grandma and grandpa, who would let me live with them in exchange for taking care of them. I was naive.
I cried a lot at the idea of leaving my family and friends. I couldn’t tell my family that I was going to China, but I did tell some of my close friends. I asked them to give my goodbye letters to my family. I felt so apologetic to my father that I didn’t do much for him as his daughter. Before then I didn’t like my father because, after the regime took away his farm, he started drinking a lot and not taking care of our family, yet I just couldn’t help feeling heartbroken leaving him. I also got to spend 3 days with my mom who lived far away from my family before I went to China. At the time I got to have a lot of conversations that brought us a lot of healing and reconciliation.
I wasn’t sure if I would see my family again because of the possibility of getting caught while escaping to China. Before I left, I got some opium and carried it underneath the collar of my shirt so I could take it to kill myself in case I got caught.
I found a broker who gave money to the border guards so they didn’t patrol when I was supposed to cross the Tumen river. When I got to the middle of the river I felt that the ice was quite thin so I had to crawl to cross the rest of the river that was covered by snow. I didn’t realize that moment but later after I arrived I realized that my feet got so swollen because they got frozen from crawling the river in the snow. I couldn’t feel my feet for a while.
Continue reading Part 2 of Joy's story, focused on her time spent hiding in China.
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Love Prevails—Three North Korean Love Stories
As Valentine’s Day gets closer, we’d like to share stories from some of North Korean refugees where love overcame challenges. Some have found love despite all odds, others found love after the hardships and achieving freedom. For many refugees, love was what drove them to risk their lives and kept them going as they resettled.
Minji—An Orphan’s Many Champions
Minji was left on the streets in North Korea at a very young age with no idea what her real name or birthday was. A kind man found her and made the selfless decision to risk his life to sneak her into China so a friend could take care of her. His friend nursed her back to health and the family reached out to LiNK to help Minji make the journey to South Korea. She has shown exponential growth since then, thanks to the care of many compassionate people.
Now in South Korea, Minji is thriving in a loving environment with her new foster parents and siblings who celebrate the progress she makes every day.
Jin Kyung—An Uncommon Cinderella Story
Escaping not just a stepmother but also the day-to-day hardships, Jin Kyung crossed the Tumen River into China where she was sold immediately for no more than 10,000 North Korean won and 2 packs of cigarettes. Later, she was sold a second time, but fortunately, to a kind, loving Chinese man and mother-in-law who helped coordinate her escape to South Korea. After resettlement, she eventually reunited with the man, who is now her husband. When Jin Kyung graduated from alternative school last year, her husband and baby boy came to celebrate the occasion.
It warms Jin Kyung’s heart to see the support of her husband in her career and their happy son.
Jung Hee—A Persistent Sincerity
Despite only a brief encounter with him at a retreat for North Koreans in the U.S., Jung Hee’s husband diligently and sincerely pursued her afterwards. Jung Hee found that she can depend on him during difficult times and he showed his affections after every text. She pretended to be bothered, while looking forward to his daily messages. Fearing he would lose her when he heard that her friends were arranging dates for her, he immediately booked a flight to see her and married her within a month with everyone’s approval.
For the couple, to be able to say “I love you” every morning and night is a blessing. Jung Hee believes that every person differs in the way they express their love, but being considerate and taking the first step to love will return that love tenfold.
