Joy's Story: Part 3 - A Difficult Decision
Read parts one and two of Joy's story that detail her life in North Korea and how she was sold as a bride in China.
When I started living with the Chinese man I was sold to, I thought of escaping after six months. I just did what the Chinese man wanted without thinking about birth-control—I never had proper sex education. Two months later, he and his family took me to a hospital for a pregnancy test. I was pregnant. I am so sorry to my daughter for this, but after I got pregnant was so miserable and I felt like I was stuck in this situation because of the baby. I knew that I couldn’t escape until I gave birth to my daughter and raised her for a while. I was not happy, but the Chinese man and his family were. I am very sorry to my daughter for how I felt about having her back then, but the pregnancy was not what I wanted and I didn’t love the Chinese man. I actually tried to abort the baby by jumping down from a high tree many times but it didn’t happen.
I ended up having a daughter and raised her for two years before I escaped.
When I was still raising my daughter and living with the Chinese man and I was losing hope about my life, the North Korean broker who sold me into marriage got back to me and introduced me to some people who later connected me to LiNK’s network. She told me that she felt really bad for selling me to the Chinese man but she had to do it to survive in China as a North Korean herself. When she told me about going to South Korea and life there, I felt like that was my last chance to have my life back again. At that point, I was no longer breastfeeding and my baby had started to talk, so I thought the Chinese man’s parents could take care of her. I decided to leave for South Korea.
I was so sad to leave my two-year-old daughter in China.
Before I left, I thought of taking her with me, but she was still very young and I was not sure if I was going to make it to South Korea safely so I didn't want to risk her life.
To this day I feel guilty and sorry about having left her so I could have freedom and better life. I know my daughter has been hurt a lot by my leaving.
Before I started moving to get out of China I stayed with some other defectors before I got connected to LiNK's network. At the time, I cried every day thinking of my daughter. Even when I was sleeping in the house, I kept waking up to see if my little daughter was sleeping well on my arm and realized that she was not with me anymore.
I didn't want to cry in front of other defectors, so I cried behind a curtain and I found another North Korean woman crying there because she also left her child. We ended up hugging each other and crying together.
Since I resettled to South Korea a few years ago, I have been talking with my daughter through online video calls as often as possible. She is doing well and is now in elementary school, but I can tell she has been so hurt by my absence in her life. It breaks my heart when she asks me why I am not with her. Whenever there is homework about family or whenever her teacher asks her to bring her mom, she gets so sad and I feel so helpless and remorseful. I plan to visit her in China on one of my summer breaks from college.
It is so ironic because I was so hurt a lot by my mom for leaving me and my family when I was a little kid and I did the same thing to my own daughter.
Now I understand why my mom had to make such a decision...Hopefully there will be a day my daughter can understand and forgive me.
North Korean Refugees Reaching their Potential: A Mid-Year Recap of 2024
It’s been a busy first half of the year for Liberty in North Korea! In case you missed it, here’s all that we’ve accomplished together with YOU and our North Korean friends.
Many of these major updates have been a long time in the making. This bigger-picture impact is only possible because of the continued support and generosity of this global movement. With every update we share, know that you’re now a part of each of these stories, and you have helped to change lives!
The 2024 Advocacy Fellows: Bella, Grace, and Lily wrapped up their 2.5 months in the US after traveling to 11 cities, speaking at 48 events and meetings, and sharing their stories in person with over a thousand people!
20 North Korean refugees now living in freedom: Of the 20 rescued, 3 families were able to escape together and will also reunite with family in South Korea. One woman will be seeing her sister again after being separated for 25 years!
The LiNK English Language Program: This spring, we had our biggest semester of LELP yet—156 participants, including 78 North Korean students and 78 volunteers. 98% of participants reported that they were satisfied with the program!
12 North Korean students awarded academic scholarships: $77,400 was awarded to help North Koreans studying in the US complete their post-secondary education programs and achieve their academic goals.
Featured Content
- 📰 Read: From our World Refugee Day campaign, experience “The Journey” of North Korean refugees through the eyes of Il-Lyong, Vickey, Haneul, and Doohyun.
- 🎥 Watch: North Korean stories are headed to the Emmys! Beyond Utopia, a documentary following several people as they escape from North Korea, was just nominated for “Exceptional Merit in Documentary Filmmaking.” Stream now on Hulu!
- 📝 Learn: Curious about North Korean instant noodles? Or what middle school is like in the most closed-off country in the world? Our North Korean friend (and one of last year’s Summit speakers!) Sunghee is publishing weekly articles about her experiences.
LiNK in the News
- A daring escape by boat: Kang Gu-rin is one of just 15 North Korean refugees who have escaped directly from North Korea and made it to South Korea since 2021. Read more in this recent Washington Post article.
- The Closing of North Korea 2018-2023: Earlier this year, Human Rights Watch published an in-depth report on the devastating impact of pandemic-era restrictions on the North Korean people.
- Where they are now: Last month, Geumhyok, one of our 2018 LiNK Advocacy Fellows, spoke at the U.N. Security Council Meeting on North Korean Human Rights (timestamp 35:50). He’s the second LiNK program alumni to be invited to speak this year!
Thank you for your unwavering support and dedication to the North Korean people. We’re excited to see what the second half of 2024 brings!
