North Korean Refugee Stories: Meet On Song
On Song lived a good childhood in an upper-class family, attending special schools reserved for people of her social class and nurturing dreams of becoming a doctor or scientist. After her parents shut those dreams down because they felt they were improper for a girl, she instead became an accountant and worked for a special division of the government for several years. However, once her father retired and his salary and benefits stopped, life immediately took a turn for the worse. It was difficult for her mother to adjust to their new economic situation, and she soon fell seriously ill and passed away.
Things only became more difficult for On Song from that point on. Shortly after her son was born, she got into an argument with her in-laws. They took her son from her and placed him with a foster family. When her marriage ended in a messy divorce, she was left jobless, homeless, and penniless. She finally tracked down her son and saw that he was doing well with his new family. She knew she couldn't provide the same quality of care given her situation, so she decided to leave him with them. It was at this point that she realized her future looked grim if she remained in North Korea. She made the dangerous escape across the border into China and was quickly sold as a bride. She ran away from her "husband" a year later. She did her best to hide from the Chinese authorities, but eventually one of her neighbors reported her and she was repatriated.
She was sent to a reeducation camp where she endured horrifying conditions. She said she saw fellow prisoners around her die every day. After she was released a year later, she managed to escape again to China and was rescued by LiNK. Now she looks forward to life in South Korea and is not worried about facing hardships there, having already seen the worst that life has to offer.
“I don't want my first step in South Korea to be too high, because I want to be able to move up one step by one step, learning the whole way. I believe that even though it's hard, I must go through it.”
On Song is safe today because people around the world stepped up to fund her rescue. Now, she has the freedom to pursue her ambitions and live life as she chooses. You can make a difference in the lives of more North Korean refugees like On Song by donating to our work.
Joy's Story: Part 3 - A Difficult Decision
Read parts one and two of Joy's story that detail her life in North Korea and how she was sold as a bride in China.
When I started living with the Chinese man I was sold to, I thought of escaping after six months. I just did what the Chinese man wanted without thinking about birth-control—I never had proper sex education. Two months later, he and his family took me to a hospital for a pregnancy test. I was pregnant. I am so sorry to my daughter for this, but after I got pregnant was so miserable and I felt like I was stuck in this situation because of the baby. I knew that I couldn’t escape until I gave birth to my daughter and raised her for a while. I was not happy, but the Chinese man and his family were. I am very sorry to my daughter for how I felt about having her back then, but the pregnancy was not what I wanted and I didn’t love the Chinese man. I actually tried to abort the baby by jumping down from a high tree many times but it didn’t happen.
I ended up having a daughter and raised her for two years before I escaped.
When I was still raising my daughter and living with the Chinese man and I was losing hope about my life, the North Korean broker who sold me into marriage got back to me and introduced me to some people who later connected me to LiNK’s network. She told me that she felt really bad for selling me to the Chinese man but she had to do it to survive in China as a North Korean herself. When she told me about going to South Korea and life there, I felt like that was my last chance to have my life back again. At that point, I was no longer breastfeeding and my baby had started to talk, so I thought the Chinese man’s parents could take care of her. I decided to leave for South Korea.
I was so sad to leave my two-year-old daughter in China.
Before I left, I thought of taking her with me, but she was still very young and I was not sure if I was going to make it to South Korea safely so I didn't want to risk her life.
To this day I feel guilty and sorry about having left her so I could have freedom and better life. I know my daughter has been hurt a lot by my leaving.
Before I started moving to get out of China I stayed with some other defectors before I got connected to LiNK's network. At the time, I cried every day thinking of my daughter. Even when I was sleeping in the house, I kept waking up to see if my little daughter was sleeping well on my arm and realized that she was not with me anymore.
I didn't want to cry in front of other defectors, so I cried behind a curtain and I found another North Korean woman crying there because she also left her child. We ended up hugging each other and crying together.
Since I resettled to South Korea a few years ago, I have been talking with my daughter through online video calls as often as possible. She is doing well and is now in elementary school, but I can tell she has been so hurt by my absence in her life. It breaks my heart when she asks me why I am not with her. Whenever there is homework about family or whenever her teacher asks her to bring her mom, she gets so sad and I feel so helpless and remorseful. I plan to visit her in China on one of my summer breaks from college.
It is so ironic because I was so hurt a lot by my mom for leaving me and my family when I was a little kid and I did the same thing to my own daughter.
Now I understand why my mom had to make such a decision...Hopefully there will be a day my daughter can understand and forgive me.
