I Escaped at 6 Years Old. Am I Really North Korean?
By Sean
Sean is a participant of LiNK’s Intensive English Program (LIEP), designed to build the capacity of North Korean English speakers at the intermediate level. In partnership with the British Council, LIEP aims to cultivate participants’ communication and critical thinking skills in English. LIEP is complementary to our broader LiNK English Language Program (LELP), which supports speakers of all proficiency levels.
From Fear to My Spear
Growing up, I was a very timid boy who avoided anything that made me uncomfortable. I never raised my hand in class because I was too embarrassed to speak in front of people. Just the thought of everyone looking at me made me freeze.
One time in elementary school, every student had to sing in front of the class for a music assignment. I was extremely nervous, not only because I hated standing on stage, but also because I was afraid people would laugh at my terrible singing. It felt like a kind of phobia. I ended up crying and quietly went back to my seat.
But as I grew older, things started to change.
In early 2021, I began playing the electric guitar. At first, I practiced by myself, but after a while I wanted to play with others and do something more meaningful with music. I heard that my church band was looking for a guitarist, so I asked the band leader if I could join—very unusual for someone like me, who had never wanted to be on stage before. To be honest, I wasn’t even good enough to play during a live service. But the band leader still let me join.
I made plenty of mistakes every week. Every Sunday, I was always nervous before going on stage. But this time, I didn’t run away from fear. I knew I wouldn’t grow if I kept avoiding challenges. I realized that achieving goals often comes with pain and discomfort.
Over time, I got better at guitar and became more comfortable performing in front of people. Now, I feel totally fine being in front of a crowd. That experience really changed me. Since then, I’ve tried to face challenges instead of avoiding them.
In the summer of 2023,I had the opportunity to go to England and help raise awareness about North Korea. A Christian organization invited me and some North Korean friends to speak to people in the UK about life in North Korea. My role was to translate their stories into English for the audience.
At one of the events, I was shocked by how many people were there. There were hundreds, maybe even thousands of chairs. I had never spoken in front of such a large crowd before and I had to speak in English, not my first language. I was terrified. But I reminded myself that this was another opportunity to grow. I didn’t back down. I did my job and didn’t give up. I continued translating for two weeks as we traveled across England, helping North Korean refugees share their stories.
There was another reason I had to translate. I didn’t have much of my own story to share. I was born in North Korea, but I left when I was six years old, so I don’t remember much. But during this trip, I learned a lot more about North Korea. I also saw that many people around the world truly care about what’s happening there and I realized that I care, too.
This was the first time I used my language skills for something meaningful. It was the first time I spoke, not just for myself, but for North Korea.
Growing up, I never really realized that I was from North Korea. My mother didn’t want me to interact with other North Korean kids, and I didn’t have any of the typical traits of a North Korean refugee. The way I spoke and behaved was completely South Korean. I spoke fluent South Korean, and I just lived like everyone else around me.
It wasn’t until late 2020 that I met North Korean students for the first time at an alternative school in Seoul. It was quite interesting to meet people who were born in the same place as me, but I felt different from them. Most of them had arrived in South Korea during their late teenage years. They spoke with a North Korean accent and shared detailed memories of their lives in the North. But I had nothing to share. I didn’t remember anything from North Korea. I felt like a South Korean kid surrounded by North Koreans. I couldn’t relate to their stories at all.
That’s when I started to question my identity. Am I South Korean or North Korean?
But after my experience in the UK, I can now say with confidence that I am both. I am North and South Korean.
One meaningful moment was when I shared my mother’s story---how she escaped North Korea and survived in China. She had told me this story many times, but saying it out loud myself was very different. I could feel it more deeply. It wasn’t just something I had heard anymore, it became something I carried. I realized more clearly that I am from North Korea and that my mother went through many hardships. Telling the story helped me feel more connected to my background. North Korea started to feel closer, more real, and more personal.
Now, more than anything, I want to study and learn more about North Korea. The world needs to be aware of what is happening in the North. With increasing attention and focus from the outside, we will be able to take the first step toward unification. Even if unification doesn’t happen, it could lead to the opening of borders.
Since I speak both French and English, I have come to realize that I am able to use my language skills to let the world know about North Korea. I’ve already overcome my fear of speaking on stage. That fear used to hold me back, but not anymore. Now, I feel that I need to get ready to speak up for North Korea and help the world understand its people and stories.
I’ve lived as a South Korean and connected deeply with North Koreans. I understand both sides in a way that not many people can. That’s why I believe I can become a bridge between the two Koreas.
As I continue to grow, I will keep improving my language skills and keep learning so that one day, I can stand on the global stage and speak for the people of North Korea. I want to be someone who helps the world see them not as strangers, but as part of one family.
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Opportunities like LiNK’s Intensive English Program (LIEP) are helping North Koreans find their voice, reach their goals, and lead change on this issue. Your support can help us continue to make an impact in the lives of North Korean refugees, like Sean.
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5 Must-Read Books about North Korea
Finding new information about North Korea can be hard, especially when news outlets focus almost entirely on things like politics, nuclear weapons, and Kim Jong-un’s latest haircut.The good news is that there are amazing books that go beyond the surface of North Korea and reveal the in-depth stories and lives of the North Korean people.
Here are 5 books we highly recommend to learn more about North Korea!
Under The Same Sky by Joseph Kim
A story of survival, escape, and a new life in America
Now an internationally renowned advocate, Joseph Kim shares his journey of survival, escape, and building a new life in the United States. When Joseph was young, the Great Famine tore his family apart. After his father starved to death, his mother and sister went to find food in China, leaving Joseph to fend for himself in the streets. To survive, he crossed into China, where he lived in hiding before connecting with LiNK’s network and resettling in the U.S. as a refugee. Check out the Reddit AMA we did with Joseph Kim here!
Aquariums of Pyongyang by Kang Chol-Hwan and Pierre Ragoulot
A first-hand account of growing-up in a North Korean Political Prison Camp
Kang Chol-Hwan is a survivor. He was sent to the infamous Yodok political prison camp at just nine years old. He spent 10 years in the camp and experienced the brutality of the North Korean regime firsthand. After being released, he was finally able to escape to South Korea. Today, he advocates for human rights in North Korea. Read more about political prison camps in North Korea here.
Nothing to Envy by Barbara Demick
The stories of 6 people who survived the North Korean famine
Award-winning journalist Barbara Demick dives deep into the lives of 6 North Koreans during the North Korean famine. Through these stories you’ll see what life is like inside the country and the incredible resiliency of the North Korean people. This book is a staff favorite! Read about the challenges the North Korean people face..
North Korea Confidential By Daniel Tudor and James Pearson
A great summary of life in North Korea today
This book will get you caught up on North Korea! Known as the “hermit kingdom,” North Korea is a mystery to many. But beyond the political headlines is a North Korea that is rapidly changing. Tudor and Pearson explore what life is like in North Korea today, the one where citizens carry USBs filled with South Korean dramas and k-pop and run their own businesses in underground markets. Read about modern North Korea and how the country is changing here.
The Great Successor By Anna Fifield
A compelling portrait of the North Korean regime and Kim Jong Un
We like to focus on the people of North Korea, not the regime. But this book by the talented journalist Anna Fifield (and friend of LiNK’s) is a must-read. She explores the life of Kim Jong Un and interviews people who have actually met him. Fifield gives a behind-the-scenes look into the rise of Kim Jong Un while at the same time highlighting the incredible changes happening inside the country that are pressuring the regime to adapt and change.
